Falling Up!
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: The Pine twins are caught in an incautious moment by their parents. With their secret revealed they're sent to stay with Great Aunt, as apparently this isn't the first time something like this has happened in their family.
1. Chapter 1

**Falling up!**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls and Sky High are both properties of Disney Studios. All hail the Mouse!  
**

"I am completely blaming you," Dipper told Mabel as they waited for the bus.

"I know," Mabel replied. "Personally I blame you," she said.

"What?!" Dipper exclaimed.

"You were wearing those shorts that are waayyy too tight and bent over right in front of me. I'm not made of steel, Dipper!" she exclaimed.

Dipper rubbed his temples.

"As I recall, Dad had to pry you off me because you got so caught up in your animal instincts you didn't even notice they were there," she teased, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"I'm not going to dignify that with a reply," Dipper said. "I'm just glad they didn't try to separate us."

"They weren't stupid enough to try that," Mabel snorted. "Give them some credit, we got our brains from somewhere."

"I know," Dipper admitted, "but you never know how someone is going to react until faced with it and even the most tolerant people can go completely nuts when it happens in their family."

"And then there are the ones where they send their kids to church camps to pray it away," Mabel said.

"Ok, our parents are pretty understanding about us," Dipper said as the bus pulled up to take them to their new school. "Even if they did send us away."

"Great aunt Grenda has a lot more experience with these things," Mabel said as they stepped on board the bus.

The bus driver, a friendly looking guy who looked a little like Soos, in body type anyway, checked his clipboard. "The... Pine twins," he said his smile fading into a nervous silence that spread through the bus.

"That's us," Dipper said with a sigh.

"Welcome aboard, please have a seat, if you have any problems let me know," the driver said nervously.

"Will do," Mabel said cheerfully, ignoring the tense atmosphere and looking for an open seat for the two. She frowned when she saw there weren't two open seats together and stopped in the middle of the aisle. She was about to ask a girl if she would change seats, when the girl grabbed her stuff and moved on her own. "Thanks," Mabel said sliding into the window seat.

"Maxville isn't bad," Dipper said sitting next to her. "But it's like distilled suburbs. I miss the Falls."

"As their duly appointed congresswoman I appreciate that sentiment," Mabel said ignoring the quiet mutterings of the students around them as the bus pulled away from the curb.

"I hope our new school isn't as bad as our old one," Dipper said.

"Everyone hold on tight," the bus driver called out, flipping a couple of switches on the dash. As the bus turned onto an unfinished overpass, the 'road closed' sign folding down automatically to let them pass.

Safety harnesses came out of the seats, snapping shut around everyone.

"Welcome to Sky High," the bus driver said with a grin, as the bus drove off the unfinished overpass and started falling only to transform into a flying vehicle and rocket into the sky amidst the frightened screams of most of the passengers.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

The bus landed smoothly and disgorged its load of excited superhuman teens.

"And to think none of this would have happened if I hadn't given you a telekinetic wedgie and you hadn't turned into a Manotaur," Mabel said cheerfully.

"One, ow! and two, it was instinctive," Dipper replied.

"And the attempt to crush me?" she teased.

"I prefer to think of it as a full body hug," Dipper replied with a grin. "Manotaur instincts involve a lot of affectionate grappling."

A whirlwind sprung up around the group of freshmen as something ran around them at great speeds. The blue and red striped sweater Mabel was wearing around her waist was pulled away by the wind, but as she reached for it something shoved her back towards the group.

As Mabel landed on her ass with the wind knocked out of her, Dipper saw red. His clothes exploded off him as he transformed into a seven and a half foot tall mountain of muscle known as a Manotaur. He roared angrily and the whirling blur resolved itself into a scared looking chubby teen who stumbled back from the group. Before he could regain his feet Dipper had lifted him up by the throat with one hand and was raising his fist.

"If you kill him we'll be kicked out!" Mabel yelled grabbing his arm and trying to hold it back.

Dipper didn't even notice Mabel's weight as he drew back his fist.

"You'll end up rooming with Gideon!" Mabel yelled wrapped completely around his arm.

Dipper snorted and dropped the chubby speedster, slowly changing back into a slender fourteen year old boy, wearing only a loin cloth and a hat, as Mabel slid off his arm. "If you ever hit my sister again we'll see how fast you are in a wheelchair."

"Dude, it was an accident," the teen said nervously.

Dipper frowned but nodded. "I'll accept that this time."

"Excellent self control," Mabel told Dipper, her left hand glowing blue as she telekinetically pulled her sweater towards her from high in the sky. "No broken bones or anything!"

"Its a lot easier to control with you to concentrate on," Dipper told her as they gathered his shredded clothes and stuffed them in his backpack.

"Hello everyone, I'm Gwen Tennyson," An older teen introduced herself. "I'm here to give you a tour of Sky High."

"I feel naked," Dipper complained to Mabel.

"You practically are naked," she pointed out.

"I mean I feel naked without my spear when dressed like this, well that and my tribal tats," he admitted.

Mabel giggled, recalling how silly those tattoos were. She'd actually thought they were cool until he translated them into English for her.

The tour of the flying campus set in the clouds lasted until it was nearly lunch time.

Entering the gym, everyone was ordered to sit in the bleachers where a loud gym teacher named Sonic Boom or Coach Boomer, called them up one by one to test their powers and decide whether they'd be heroes or sidekicks, standing there in his black and white track suit, casually dismissing some students and dropping cars on others.

"The hero support program has courses in grappling hook use!" Mabel said excitedly as she looked through her paperwork.

"So we're going with my idea of being sidekicks?" Dipper asked.

"Partners not sidekicks," Mabel said out of reflex.

"Close enough," Dipper said cheerfully. "I'll say I turn into a guinea pig, how about you?"

"Jedi mind trick," Mabel replied.

"This should be fun," Dipper said, knowing her sense of humor. Seeing Boomer was about to start on the 'P's, Dipper stepped forward. "Dipper Pine," he said firmly.

Coach boomer recoiled and double checked his clipboard, drawing a line through his first name and writing in Dipper. "What's your power?" he asked. "And why are you only wearing a loin cloth?"

"My clothes don't change with me," Dipper replied. "Half the time I can't even keep the loin cloth on. I can change into a guinea pig like the girl with the purple hair. That means hero support, right?"

"Erm, yeah," Boomer agreed, looking relieved as Dipper returned to the bleachers. He visibly winced as he read the next name. "Mabel Pines," he called out.

Mabel bounced into the circle with a big smile looking perfectly innocent and adorable.

Boomer actually shuddered and took a step back. "Power?" he asked, his voice cracking a window in the far corner of the gym.

"Jedi mind trick," Mabel said, her eyes glowing blue as she waved a hand in front of his face. "I did a card trick, that while mildly entertaining was in no way a superhero power. You've decided to put me in hero support. Oh, and you are convinced your fly is down and everyone is too embarrassed to tell you."

Mabel snapped her fingers and Boomer blinked and shook his head. "It's not a bad trick," he said cautiously.

"Hero support?" Mabel asked cheerfully.

"Agreed," he said, hiding behind his clipboard.

Mabel bounced back to sit beside Dipper.

Before calling up the next person Boomer turned his back to the bleachers and checked his zipper trying to disguise his movements as just adjusting his belt.

Mabel muffled her laughter against Dipper's shoulder while he bit his lip. The surrounding teens gave them strange looks, though several had to stifle their own laughter.

Boomer called up several more students and checked his zipper twice more before sending everyone to lunch.

"Why did you downplay your powers?" a red haired girl in a floral print blouse asked.

Mabel pulled Dipper's hat over his eyes. "What?" he asked.

"Redhead," Mabel told him. "Keep your eyes covered."

"Sure," Dipper replied amused.

"Oh, the whole bull seeing red thing?" the girl guessed.

"Sure, let's go with that," Dipper said agreeably.

"So why hero support?" she asked.

"We aren't heroes," Dipper told her, thinking of their adventures each summer and how it involved a lot of screaming and an awful lot of running and a complete and total lack of spandex.

"Plus hero support has some seriously cool classes," Mabel said enthusiastically. "Grappling gun use!"

"Spotting the latest counterfeiting techniques," Dipper added.

"Detective work!" Mabel exclaimed.

"How to fade into the background," Dipper said.

"That makes sense," she said when a dark haired boy came over. "Layla, we better go or we'll be late for lunch."

"It was nice meeting you two," she said as she was drug off.

"Our family history really isn't helping us win friends here," Mabel said with a sigh.

"Who knew our parents generation was the normal one?" Dipper asked. "I always assumed behind their middle class exterior lurked something interesting, but apparently not. They became boring as a form of rebellion."

"Find any clues as to which side of the Pines family they came from?" Mabel asked.

"No," Dipper said. "And I'm beginning to wonder if that's because our family tree doesn't fork."

"You mean..." her voice trailed off.

"Yeah, I'm thinking they're cousins," Dipper admitted. "They found someone who was going through what they were and understood them, when no one else did, and that proved to be a greater attraction than any societal disapproval."

"Is it wrong I prefer our great aunt and uncle to our parents?" Mabel asked, changing the subject.

"If it is I'm right there with you," Dipper told her. "Can I uncover my eyes now?"

"Yes, the redhead is gone," she replied cheerfully, uncovering his eyes.

"And why must I have a weakness for redheads?" Dipper asked.

"The whole Minotaur deal," Mabel explained. "You said having a fake weakness for people to strike at was something Grunkle Stan suggested, and then I recalled the crush you have on Wendy—"

"I had a crush on Wendy, past tense," Dipper interrupted. "And it's Manotaur not Minotaur."

"Misdirection, bro-bro," she said cheerfully. "Would you rather they throw redheads at you or grenades?"

"Good point," he agreed. "And yours?"

"I am a relatively weak psychic whose powers are always bright, flashy, and obvious," Mabel said with a grin. "At some point we need to get me an amulet like Gideon had so I can be 'dependent' on it for most of my strength."

"We still doing the 'touch hands to recharge our powers' bit?" Dipper asked.

"It's pretty standard," Mabel pointed out. "Plus it means we can treat all attempts to separate us as hostile."

"Hard to believe great aunt Grenda, along with Grunkle Stan and Grandpa were the feared Whispering Pines," Dipper said.

"Whatever," Mabel waved it off. "I need food, let's mosey!"

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	2. Chapter 2

**Falling Up! 2**

"I should make you some tinted glasses," Mabel said as they stood in the line at the cafeteria.

"What? Why?" Dipper asked, wondering what random thought had run through her head and jumped out her mouth now.

"It would totally stop you from seeing redheads," Mabel said.

"I only have a problem at close range," he said, seeing that she was just working on their cover. "And it's only females anyway."

"Still it would solve the problem," Mabel said as the lunch lady dumped globs of... what was supposed to be food on their trays.

"I'm not going through life wearing tinted glasses," Dipper said.

"I need the amulet of Metrion," Mabel said suddenly.

"Metrion," Dipper muttered as they headed for a nearly empty table, having only a dark haired boy sitting at it.

"The tri-force," Mabel joked.

"A tri-part amulet," Dipper said as he recalled the entry in the journal. "Matter transmutation?" he guessed, barely recalling what he'd read.

"A bit limited but very useful, especially here," Mabel agreed.

The dark haired boy glared at the two. "This is my table," he said. "I come here to eat lunch in peace, not be used as a test for freshmen to prove their bravery." Flames sprang from his arms as he glared at the interlopers.

"Dude, chill," Dipper said. "We're sitting here because it has open space, not to... prove our bravery?" he asked confused.

"You don't know who I am," the flaming boy realized.

"Nope," Mabel said cheerfully, roasting a marshmallow over his arm.

"Warren Peace," he said offering a flaming hand to Dipper.

Dipper didn't hesitate to shake his hand. Compared to all the trials the Manotaurs had put him through when he was twelve a flaming handshake was nothing. "Dipper Pines," Dipper introduced himself.

Warren's flames doused instantly. "Son of the Whispering Pines?" he asked.

"And daughter," Mabel added blowing out her flaming marshmallow.

"Except add a grand in there," Dipper said.

"Your grandparents beat up the commander?" Warren said in disbelief, recalling one of the nefarious trios more memorable exploits.

"What were his injuries?" Dipper asked.

"It was probably Grunkle Stan," Mabel interjected before Warren could answer. "He was always the most physical of the three."

"It's nice to meet you," Warren said, a bit more relaxed. "My father is Barron Battle, so naturally I don't quite fit in here."

"Our parents are so dull the Amish think they need to loosen up," Mabel said while poking at her 'food'.

"Fortunately we don't take after them," Dipper said.

"Well it's nice to meet people who aren't stuck up or think they're better than everyone else because of who their families are," Warren said.

The bell rang.

"And that's it for lunch," Warren said. "See you two around."

"See ya," the twins chorused as they went to dump their mostly untouched lunch.

"I need the amulet of Metrion," Mabel repeated as they headed for the gym.

"I thought you wanted an amulet like Gideon's," Dipper said.

"That was before, now I want the amulet of Metrion," Mabel said as Coach Boomer started testing the students and they took their seats in the bleachers.

"The journal didn't say where it was, but I think I saw an article about it recently," Dipper said. "I'll look it up on our next break."

Mabel dug a couple of candy bars out of her backpack and passed them to Dipper pulling out a few more for herself.

"You're a life saver," Dipper said. "If I'd known the food here would make Grunkle Stan's cooking look good, I'd have packed a lunch."

**Hero support**

"Hello everyone, My name is Jonathon Boy, but you might know me better as," the average looking brown haired man stepped behind a screen and leapt out a scant three seconds later, dressed in a red white and blue outfit that wouldn't have looked out of place on Captain America, "All American Boy!"

Mabel and Dipper applauded with the rest of the class, impressed with the quick change act.

"In my class I'll be teaching you everything you need to know to get ahead in hero support," he said proudly. "Everything from lair maintenance to escaping being tied up and suspended over a tank of live piranha."

Mabel practically vibrated in place, while normal school had bored her, this seemed right up her alley. Sure there were parts that were a bit dull, like lair maintenance but it was more than made up for with costume design and quips 101!

**Quick change**

"Why are you only wearing a loincloth?" Mr. Boy asked.

"Control problems," Dipper admitted. "The rest of my clothes got shredded. This is what I wear when I transform."

"That makes quick change a breeze," Mr. Boy joked. "Do you have anything you can change into, even if you don't normally dress that way, so you can get some practice?"

Dipper nodded. "Mabel has a couple of my outfits with her."

Mabel waved a hand and telekinetically tossed a bag to him.

Dipper drug the bag behind the screen and stepped to the side so everyone could see him.

"And... go!" Mr. Boy shouted.

Dipper leapt behind the screen and then sighed. "Mabel, I am not wearing the Great Bear outfit."

"But it'd look adorable on you!" Mabel protested.

"The purpose of this class is not to make me look adorable," Dipper said. "Toss me my suit!"

"Fine!" Mabel pouted as she gestured and a garment bag flew behind the screen.

Dipper stepped out so everyone could see him. "Let's try this again."

Mr. Boy nodded. "And... go!"

Dipper stepped behind the screen and leapt out a few minutes later, wearing an eye patch, carrying a cane with his hair slicked back, and wearing a black suit. "Tada!" he called out with a wild grin, putting on his Mr. Mystery persona.

All hell broke loose in the classroom.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	3. Chapter 3

**Falling Up! 3**

The class screamed and Mr. Boy leapt back, instinctively throwing a pair of palm sized throwing disks at Dipper.

A single twirl of his cane deflected the first disk while the second one seemed to have missed him completely, but Dipper recalled Grunkle Stan's story about fighting All-American Boy and took a step to the right, which caused the ricochet of the second disk to miss him as well. "What's with the screaming?" Dipper asked, never losing the grinning persona of Mr. Mystery.

"You're dressed as one of the world's most notorious super villains!" Will Stronghold shouted.

Dipper snorted. "Similar costumes do not denote similar intentions, and do you see a red fez on my head?"

"That rhymed!" Mabel called out with a giggle.

"Regardless, this is my Mr. Mystery outfit, not my Great Uncle's," Dipper said firmly.

"And the cane that neutralizes powers?" Mr. Boy said retrieving his disks.

"This?" Dipper said giving it a twirl and waving it in the direction of the class who all ducked. "This is my cane and while it is useful, it doesn't neutralize powers."

"We'll have to work on your speed, but well done," Mr. Boy said, marking down something on his clipboard. "Mabel?"

Dipper stepped behind the second screen and stepped out a half a minute later dressed in his loin cloth once more but still carrying his cane.

"The cane?" Mr. Boy asked.

Dipper shrugged and twirled it. "I'd rather have my spear but it's a little much for just carrying around school."

"Which is your preferred weapon for combat?" Mr. Boy asked.

"Depends on persona," Dipper hedged. "If I'm transforming I have built in weapons, if I'm not I use my bone spear, and the cane is for the Mr. Mystery gig."

"Why aren't you in the hero program?" Mr. Boy asked.

"The original Mr. Mystery told me that Jetstream and All-American Boy almost took him down and that it was only luck he beat them, he wasn't too impressed with the rest of the heroes he ran into, so naturally the Hero Support program is the better choice," Dipper explained.

"What about the Commander?" Will blurted out.

Dipper shook his head. "He expected him to be able to fight on Mr. Boy's level since he was partnered with Jetstream but without his powers he was worse than useless. He actually felt a bit guilty about the Commander's injuries but figured he did him a favor since he showed him what he needed to work on. If you want to accomplish something in life you can't just rely on any one thing. Always have a back up plan, always have a number of options, always work on improving yourself, and finally..." Dipper's voice trailed off.

"Yes?" several people asked.

"Always keep on smiling," Mabel answered. "You only fail when you stop, so when the world smacks you down, smile and say, 'You hit like a little bitch,' and get right back up."

Mr. Boy laughed before clearing his throat and saying, "The wording is a little rough, however the sentiment is good. But please watch the swear words, Miss Pine."

"It's the only time she swears," Dipper said.

"I don't believe in swearing," Mabel said. "I just refuse to mangle direct quotes, it's dishonest."

"Would that everyone felt that way," Mr. Boy said with a sigh as Mabel pushed an entire clothes rack behind the screen.

"Ok, and Go," Mr. Boy called out.

Mabel vanished behind the screen and appeared a minute later dressed in a leather cat outfit, holding a whip.

"No," Dipper said flatly.

Mabel pouted and stepped back behind the screen, stepping out a minute later in a completely adorable bear themed outfit.

"I'm not wearing the matching outfit," Dipper said.

Mabel rolled her eyes.

"Why not do a variation of great aunt Grenda's?" Dipper asked.

"While I appreciate the encouragement, I just don't have the cleavage to pull that off," Mabel admitted.

"Didn't think of that," Dipper admitted.

"How can you not?" one of the other students (Dipper thought his name might be Zac) demanded.

"Because I rarely notice the cleavage of women I'm related to," Dipper replied.

"Isn't her power carrying an endless supply of weapons in her cleavage?" Layla asked.

"Nope," Dipper answered instantly.

"He represses that knowledge," Mabel said amused.

"Try a version of grandpa's," Dipper suggested ignoring her comment.

"Ok," Mabel said stepping behind the screen. It took her nearly 5 minutes this time, and even prepared for it the class still shrank back as she stepped out from behind the screen in an old fashioned black tuxedo with top hat and tails, her face carefully made up to give the impression of a grinning skull. She twirled her own cane and spun around. "What do you think?"

"It looks very nice," Mr. Boy said. "I assume that also isn't a power canceling cane?"

"It lets me talk to plants," Mabel said.

"Do they say anything interesting?" Ethan, the black teen with glasses who could turn into a puddle, asked.

"Not most of the time," Mabel admitted. "Plants are usually only concerned with sunlight, water and insects."

"Then why use it?" Ethan asked.

"I've got one squash that gives great relationship advice and I've been teaching my flowers to sing show tunes," Mabel replied with a bright smile that made the grinning skull makeup look even creepier.

"I think he meant why use it while heroing," Mr. boy explained.

"It's useful for more than gardening and plants sometimes do give out nifty clues. I mean, people may silence witnesses and destroy cameras, but no one pokes the eyes out of a potato or roughs up the ferns to keep them quiet," Mabel said.

"It also lets her cheat in hide and seek," Dipper said.

"Says the guy who grew gills and hid at the bottom of the lake," Mabel said sticking her tongue out at him.

"It would have helped if I'd known we were playing at the time," Dipper said.

"The costume is good," Mr. Boy said. "But it took you much longer to get into."

"The makeup takes time," Mabel admitted.

"How about the faceless mask illusion?" Dipper asked.

"I think that's even creepier, but it is quicker," Mabel admitted. She waved her cane in front of her face and it became completely featureless like she covered her face in a layer of pink silly putty.

"Now that is creepy," Magenta, the girl with the purple streaked hair who could turn into a guinea pig said.

"It works," Dipper told her.

The bell rang.

"And we'll pick up here tomorrow," Mr. Boy announced. "We'll be working on hero concepts and catchphrases so be sure to come up with at least half a dozen possibilities tonight."

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Getting off the bus, Dipper turned to Mabel. "Ok, you were right, that wasn't bad, I think I might like it here."

"Told ya broseph, we are in like Flynn!" she said cheerfully. "We have cool classes at a school that is both interesting and fun and we even made a new friend."

"And you didn't flirt with anyone," Dipper noted. "Warren would have at least rated a phone number last week."

"I've decided on my type and he ain't it," Mabel said.

"What is your type?" Dipper asked curiously.

"I'll tell you when you're older," Mabel teased.

Dipper thought about it for a moment. "If you like girls I won't think less of you."

Mabel stopped and turned to look at him. "That was way out of left field, bro, but very touching. Wrong, but touching. That just cries out for a bad touch joke, but it would sound forced now."

"Mabel, I love you, but your brain scares me," Dipper said as they resumed walking.

"As well it should," she replied cheerfully.

As they reached home there was a note on the door that Dipper pulled off and read. "Aunt Grenda is being held on suspicion by the police, looks like we're on our own for dinner."

"I say we go out for Chinese," Mabel said.

"Fine, but no fortune cookies," Dipper said.

"Why not?" Mabel asked innocently.

"You know exactly why not," Dipper said with a sigh.

"That was a fluke!" Mabel promised.

"Five times in a row is not a fluke," Dipper replied resolutely.

"Ok, fine no fortune cookies unless it's a weekend," Mabel bargained.

Dipper nodded. "Deal!"

"Now let's go pig out!" Mabel exclaimed making piggy noises and strapping on a fake pig nose. "To the buffet!"

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	4. Chapter 4

"Paper Lantern," Dipper said. "At least I got the lantern part right."

"I'm just glad you remembered where it was," Mabel said, as they slid into an empty booth positioned in a corner so they could see the entire restaurant.

"I made sure to scout out the town online before we came here and this place had good reviews," Dipper said waving towards a waitress.

"Corner booths are normally reserved for parties of five or more," the young Asian woman in a green banner dress pointed out politely while handing them a pair of menus.

Dipper passed her a twenty. "For taking up the space of a larger party let me tip you in advance."

"Thank you," the waitress said her pleasant smile becoming a bit brighter. "Do you know what you want or should I start you off with some sodas while you decide?"

"All of page one," Dipper told her, handing back the menu.

"And half the desert page," Mabel added. "Do you carry Pitt?"

"No, just standard Coke and RC cola. Are you sure?" she asked.

"It's a medical condition," Dipper told her. "We eat a lot."

"I'll take an RC or five, how about you?" Mabel asked Dipper.

"Just bring me a full pitcher of Coke," he said.

"I'm on it," the waitress replied, jumping to put in their order and bring them their drinks.

"The tip more advice from Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked.

Dipper cleared his throat and did a half decent Stan impersonation, "Listen kid, always tip the wait staff in advance, especially if you're taking up a bit of extra space that could be used for a larger party or are making more work than normal. Service people don't get paid all that great and tips are a vital part of it, this way they also won't spit in your food and you can impress your date. It's a win-win!"

Mabel Laughed. "That's vintage Grunkle Stan right there."

Food started arriving and the twins started eating voraciously, not having eaten much since breakfast.

"So why did you think I liked girls?" Mabel asked.

"You were paying a lot of attention to Layla," Dipper replied. "You were smiling and acting giggly, more than normal I mean."

"That's because of my cane," Mabel said with a grin, challenging him to figure it out.

"It's lets you talk to plants... and she controls plants, so it lets you listen to her thoughts?" Dipper guessed.

Mabel giggled. "Please, I'm psychic, I can hear everyone's thoughts."

"You got empathic feedback from her?" Dipper tried.

"You'll never guess, so I'm just going to tell you," Mabel said. "I was basically listening to her hormones. It was like listening to a classroom filled with teenage girls with no adults around. They argued and gossiped about the guys in the room and what they'd do to them constantly!"

"You're right, I'd never have guessed that," Dipper admitted amused. "Didn't you tell me everyone's mind does that constantly anyway?"

"Below conscious thought, yeah," Mabel agreed. "But it's always a singular mind running through possible fantasies. This was much more entertaining."

"We should probably get you a different crystal for your cane," Dipper suggested.

"At least for when I'm around Layla," Mabel agreed. "It was impossible to block out and believe me I tried."

"At least for when we're in class," Dipper agreed. "You should use it when not in class until you do find a way to block it out."

"I know 'always work on what you can't do,'" she quoted. "The amulet of Metrion would be a nice replacement," Mabel hinted.

Dipper pulled out his cell phone and sent a text. "There, I should get —" Dipper was interrupted by his phone. "Text and attachment," he said absently. "Ok, the amulet is in the Hall of Heroes in The City and the attachment is... completely unrelated," Dipper said blushing heavily.

"Tambry is almost eighteen now, so technically sending you that photo is a felony," Mabel teased, having seen the pic in his thoughts.

"Gravity falls had it's age of consent lowered to twelve, thanks to a certain congresswoman, remember?" he fired back with a grin. "Just about the time a certain boy band went missing if I recall."

"She was blackmailed into it!" Mabel claimed. "Whatever happened to them anyway?"

"The guys tried to 'man them up' a bit, but that was a complete failure, so I shrunk them and inflicted them on Jeff," Dipper explained.

"Back to topic," Mabel said, though she was sure that Manotaurs trying to 'man up' Sev'ral Times was hilarious. "So Destructor, how are we going to get the amulet?"

"Just like when we were hunting down the president... we're going to have to break in," Dipper said, turning the phone so Mabel could see the visitor's hours of the Hall of Heroes listed.

Mabel grinned, recalling how serious Dipper had been about breaking into the Gravity Falls' Museum, only to discover it was open and offered free Day Passes on Pioneer Day.

The two were distracted by the arrival of their desserts and it was only after they'd demolished a good portion of them that they started speaking again.

"I'm thinking straight theft," Dipper said, mentally going over the forms needed to have the item claimed by Gravity Fall's City government. "We'll case the joint Friday and grab the goods on Saturday."

"Sounds like a plan," Mabel agreed happy that her brother handled all the paperwork for her position as she glimpsed the dozen forms he'd have to fill out in triplicate to claim the amulet through legal channels.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"I told you they were evil," Will whispered to Layla from the next booth over, hidden from view by the hanging plants between the two booths.

Layla didn't respond, still red faced from Mabel's comment about her hormones and wondering what she'd heard.

"We'll sneak out the back and let our parents know, alright?" Will said quietly dragging Layla with him towards the bathrooms.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Hearing someone curse in Mandarin, Dipper stuck his head around the plants blocking his view. "Warren?"

"Dipper?" Warren replied surprised to see him.

"What are you doing here?" Mabel asked, sticking her head through the vines.

"I work here," Warren said. "You?"

"Eating," Dipper replied.

"What was with the potty mouth?" Mabel asked.

"Someone did a dine and dash," Warren said. "It always pisses me off. My aunt own the restaurant."

"Add it to our bill," Mabel ordered.

"We're already into triple digits," Dipper agreed. "And it doesn't look like they ate more than a snack anyway."

Warren stared at him doubtfully and asked. "How much do you guys eat?"

"A lot," Dipper said, as he waved for the waitress to bring the check.

Warren cleared the table and stepped over to look at the twins' table which had a large collection of empty plates on it. "Damn!"

"We'll also cover the bill from that table," Dipper told the waitress, gesturing towards the next table.

"Just bring the bills to the front when you're ready to check out," the waitress said, setting a small tray with two bills and a pair of fortune cookies on it, before departing.

"Oh crap," Dipper said as Mabel started to giggled and one of the cookies began to glow blue.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"They talked about kidnapping a boy band and blackmailing a congressman," Will Stronghold told his parents.

"Are you positive?" Josie asked her son.

"They did, Miss Stronghold," Layla agreed. "They also talked about breaking into the Hall of Heroes and stealing the Metrion amulet on Saturday.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Steve said. "Old crimes are hard to pin on people without solid evidence, but if we can catch them in the act committing a crime, we're golden."

"Did they say which Hall of Heroes?" Josie asked. "It's a franchise with at least a dozen halls scattered across the U.S."

"They said The City, we could hear the capitals," Layla answered, causing the adults to groan. "What?" she asked.

"The City is a place filled with lunatics, and they're the good guys!" Steve exclaimed.

"They aren't that bad... OK, one or two aren't that bad," Josie said.

"Batmanuel and Captain Liberty will spend half their time trying to get us to swap partners with them," Steve said with a sigh.

"You mean like a separate team-up to compare superhero techniques?" Will asked.

"No," Steve said flatly.

"Arthur and Tick will probably be there," Josie encouraged him.

"I like teaming up with the Tick," Steve admitted. "He's physically my equal and for once I get to be the brains of the duo."

Josie laughed. "The two of you together are a natural disaster. You two destroyed several city blocks taking down that giant, fire-breathing cow."

"And the mayor said it was the least damaging fight they'd had with Apocalypse Cow," Steve said smugly.

"What kind of hero is Arthur?" Layla asked curiously already getting a surprisingly accurate mental picture of the Tick.

"Yeah, what kind of powers does he have?" Will asked.

"He doesn't," Steve said.

"So he's the sidekick?" Will asked.

"He's got a head on his shoulders like your mom and common sense is so rare in The City it can be considered a superpower," Steve said.

"It's got to be something in the air," Josie said. "Even avoiding drinking the water didn't help during our last visit."

"Why haven't we heard about it before?" Layla asked.

"Because most tales of The City are either embarrassing or something you don't need to hear about until you're eighteen," Steve said firmly.

"And often both," Josie agreed.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"Shooting star, Pine tree, it's so good to see you again!" the floating yellow triangle said. "And who's your friend?"

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	5. Chapter 5

**Falling Up 5**

"What's going on?" Warren demanded, bringing up his flames in preparation for battle, as he'd just seen a fortune cookie unfold into a golden triangle and pop out arms and legs, pull a top hat and cane from nowhere, and look at him with its single eye and even for a hero in training that was not a normal occurrence.

"Tiger, Tiger, burning bright," the floating yellow demon muttered. "I'm going to call you Tiger," he decided cheerfully.

"We're in a sphere of accelerated time," Dipper told him with a sigh, waving at the way the world around them had turned grey.

"Right you are, Pine Tree," Bill said cheerfully, "and I have some universal maintenance duties for you."

"I'm listening," Dipper said, showing some interest.

"Universal maintenance?" Warren asked.

"Bill sends us to other universes to foil the plans of the bad guys," Mabel explained excitedly. "Plus we get nifty stuff out of the deal."

"Considering you have Tiger with you, I think you'll be able to handle a little firepower," Bill decided.

"Uh oh," Mabel said, looking a bit worried now.

"What's wrong?" Warren asked.

"Since you're with us, Bill's going to give us a tough one," Dipper told him. "Either to take your measure, or to scare you off."

"A little of column A, a little of column B," Bill agreed. "Faint hearts never won a lady a stuffed creature of indeterminate species."

"That makes no sense," Warren said.

Dipper knew what he meant but didn't say anything.

"What Bill says always makes sense," Mabel disagreed. "We just don't know what he's referring to most of the time."

"Ready to go, kids?" Bill asked.

Dipper started getting undressed. "Give me a moment."

"Why are you stripping?" Warren asked.

"When I transform, my clothes don't," Dipper explained as he removed his pants, revealing he was wearing a loin cloth.

Mabel handed him a spear made of bone with a rough chiseled stone head that she pulled out of a pocket much too small for it to fit in.

"Aren't you two in the sidekick's class?" Warren asked, recalling the buzz about the twins around school.

"Hero support has better training," Dipper replied.

"And fewer buttheads," Mabel added.

"You may have a point there," Warren admitted, thinking of some of his classmates.

"On three," Bill said, waving his arm and causing the three to vanish.

The three appeared in a warehouse where two men in costumes were tied to chairs and being beaten by a number of what appeared to be generic mob goons.

Mabel and Dipper didn't hesitate to act. Dipper dove at the group, holding his spear horizontally and knocking most of them off their feet; while Mabel, outlined in bright blue flames, waved an arm, ripping weapons out of hands and sending the goons flying.

Warren rushed to help, grabbing and throwing mobsters into walls hard enough to leave dents. "What the hell happened to 'on three'?" he demanded.

Shots rang out as several mobsters managed to draw their firearms and opened fire on the glowing blue girl, the bullets curving around her. Dipper transformed with an ear splitting roar and bodies started hitting the ground hard enough to bounce.

"All clear!" Mabel called out, waving a hand and sending the last conscious thug into a wall less than a minute after they'd arrived.

"What the fuck?" a young girl in a purple costume yelled, coming out of the shadows, handgun in hand, but pointed at the ground, before a groan from one of the costumed figures had her rushing to untie the one in the black, armored outfit.

"We got injured," Mabel announced as she untied the one wearing a modified green wet suit with yellow edging. "I can't heal this one, too much metal," she said after a moment checking him.

"I'll help him, you get the other," Dipper said as he shrank back down, glaring at the unconscious bodies angrily.

"You guys can heal people?" Warren asked, still on edge from the fight never having been in a real life or death battle before.

"Mabel can, but she has a problem with non-organics inside the body," Dipper explained, ignoring Mabel arguing with the purple girl.

"How about you?" Warren asked, still keeping an eye out for danger.

"When I transform, I heal rapidly. So what I'm going to do is push some of that energy into this guy and let the transformation heal him," Dipper said, laying a hand on the green suited figure's head and heart.

"And that works?" Warren asked.

"In theory," Dipper said as his hands began to glow a faint green color and the green suited figure moaned loudly.

"In theory?" Warren repeated.

"Never tried it before," Dipper replied as the moaning teen started to swell under his hands, rapidly gaining muscles and splitting the sides of his wetsuit but stopping well short of Dipper's usual transformation simply looking like a taller, body builder version of himself.

"Done," Mabel announced, letting the blue flames die out and helping the black armored figure to his feet.

"Ditto," Dipper agreed, collapsing onto the ground.

"What the hell just happened?" the green suited figure asked. "And why is my voice so deep?"

"Holy shit, Kick Ass, you look like you bogarted all the steroids in New York!" the purple girl exclaimed.

"I'll have some of what he's having," the black armored figure said in shock.

Dipper snorted. "Sorry, but I'm fresh out. It'll be at least a day before I can transform myself, much less anyone else."

"I need new clothes," Kick Ass muttered.

"It's temporary," Dipper told him. "You'll eat like a pig for the next couple of days as you slowly return to normal."

"Better than being beaten to death by mobsters," Kick Ass said. "Thanks."

"This is impossible," the black armored figure said. "Super Heroes don't exist."

"Then what are you guys?" Mabel asked confused.

"People trying to be super heroes," Kick Ass explained as the seams on the top half of his costume gave up and fell apart. "But we don't have any powers, and before you showed up I'd have said no one did."

"We aren't locals," Dipper said.

"We noticed," the girl in purple said flatly.

"We saved them, now what?" Warren asked.

"As soon as someone says the number after two we return home," Dipper said tiredly.

"What, three?" the man in black asked, causing the three teens to vanish in a flare of light.

"That was surreal," Kick Ass said.

"Camera," the girl in purple said, bringing up a gun and shooting a web cam that had been broadcasting everything to the world.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"And we're back," Dipper said as they re-appeared in the restaurant, everything still frozen.

"Your loin cloth is now purple," Mabel told Dipper.

"So it is," Dipper agreed, quickly getting dressed. "You can examine it later."

"Examine it?" Warren asked.

"Psychic gift," Mabel explained. "It takes a couple of seconds, but I can get a decent read off objects and tell you about them. The fact that it changed color means that Bill changed it somehow as a reward."

"Can we start over from the beginning?" Warren asked. "I'm missing a lot of back story here."

Dipper chuckled. "Yeah, I get that. Ok, first things first: Don't say any numbers. I'll explain why later."

"Ok," Warren agreed.

"The floating yellow Dorito was Bill Cypher, a dream demon," Mabel explained. "Our family opposes his goals, though we still aren't sure what they are."

"But didn't we just do a job for him?" Warren asked.

"Yes, we did," Dipper agreed. "Mabel made a deal with him."

"Making deals with demons is a very bad idea, but a dumbass who shall remain nameless summoned Bill and he was free to do whatever he liked until someone made a deal with him," Mabel said.

"Demons are notorious for tricking people and keeping the letter of an agreement while twisting its intent," Dipper said. "But if anyone is a master of outside-the-box thinking, it's Mabel."

"Evil is selfish, so it was easy," Mabel said cheerfully. "Every time Dipper gets a fortune cookie, we are sent to foil the plans of evil that are not in alignment with Bill's. It must be something we are capable of and we must get rewarded fairly for the assignment."

"It also can't be against our morals," Dipper said. "Thus: Bill sends us to other places, hoping we'll get knocked off, but not able to do any more than that. He's been a pretty good sport about it, really."

"How did you get him to agree to that?" Warren asked.

"He said he would agree to any contract I'd care to write up," Mabel said with a grin.

"She wrote 'Blort' as the contract," Dipper said.

"What does 'blort' mean?" Warren asked.

"It means whatever I want it to mean," Mabel said cheerfully. "Bill said it was the most twisted thing he'd ever heard."

"We had to bargain a bit and actually lock down a fair set of rules," Dipper admitted. "But you see the results."

"And the reward was him dyeing your loincloth purple?" Warren asked.

"That just shows he changed it. It's probably been enhanced or something," Dipper explained. "And all three of us got a reward, so check your possessions."

"Book," Mabel noted as she spotted a small leather-bound tome under an empty plate.

"A ring," Warren said, having found a simple silver ring in his pocket.

"Let me see it and I'll tell you what it does," Mabel said, holding out a hand.

Dipper examined the book while Mabel took a reading off the ring, her eyes glowing a solid blue. "It's a book on how to use psychic abilities to boost physical ones," Dipper said. "It's pretty straight forward, considering the subject matter, but it'll take a lot of work to put into practice."

"Ring of fire resistance," Mabel said, handing it back to Warren. "Makes the wearer immune to normal flame and heat, even providing a small amount of protection from magical flames as well."

"I'm already immune to fire," Warren said with a frown.

"I think it's something for your girlfriend to wear," Mabel hinted.

"My- ah," Warren said. "Yeah, that is useful. I always figured I'd have to date a super with similar powers."

"Extra homework, yay," Mabel said as she took the book back from Dipper.

"I'll work with you on it," Dipper promised.

"So anyone nearby gets dragged along with you?" Warren asked.

"No. You probably got dragged along because we consider you one of us, teens unfairly judged for their relatives, who haven't become complete dicks over it," Dipper said.

Warren chuckled. "Thanks. Now how do we return to normal time?"

"Say the number after two," Mabel said. "It's the trigger."

"Three," Dipper said, returning color and sound to the world around them.

"I better get back to work," Warren said. "But next time you go, I wouldn't mind tagging along."

"Will do," Mabel said cheerfully as they went to pay their bill.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"It's been a week," Kick-Ass said as he bench pressed a quarter of a ton with Hit Girl balancing on the center of the bar. "Wasn't this supposed to wear off?"

"Do you want it to?" Hit Girl asked, looking down at him.

"Not really," he admitted.

"That's not all either," Big Daddy said. "Watch this." Taking a knife, he cut his palm and made a fist. Closing his eyes, he concentrated and a blue light flickered around his fist for a moment before dying out. Opening his fist, he showed the cut was mostly healed.

"Makes me wish I'd gotten the shit kicked out of me too," Hit Girl said in wonder.

"Suddenly the plan to simply walk in and lay waste to DeMarco and all his men doesn't seem so farfetched," Kick Ass said with a grin.

**Typing By: Ordieth**


End file.
